MAKE IT OR FAKE IT
 
MY FAKE PLANT DIED BECAUSE I DIDN’T PRETEND TO WATER IT – MITCH HEDBERG
 
What’s so funny about this? So is there such a thing as a “green thumb” or not? When somebody has a lot of plants and they are big beautiful and lush, we say that person has a “green thumb.” The implication is that they possess some natural ability or power or mojo to make plants grow. Some other people are the exact opposite; everything they try to grow dies. And it’s not from simple carelessness, like forgetting to water the plants or change the soil. Sometime, no matter how hard these people try, or how conscientious they are, their plants die. It’s the same with pets. Some people are just naturally great with animals, while others cause dogs to snarl and bark and cats to hiss and swat with their paws. I had a boss once and for her birthday I bought her a small cactus plant that was maybe two inches high. Twenty years later, she still had it and it was over six feet tall and had produced many more cactus plants; it was simply amazing how good she was with plants. In the joke we have the other extreme. Here’s a guy who’s so bad with plants that even fake, artificial plants die in his care. But he raises an interesting point. A real plant needs water, so doesn’t it stand to reason that if some piece of plastic or metal is pretending to be a plant, then maybe its owner needs to pretend to take care of it by pretending to give it water? If he forgets or neglects to do that, it could mean the end of the plant, as well as this joke. And THAT’s what’s so funny!

Listen to my audioboo: https://audioboo.fm/boos/1797075-make-it-or-fake-it

MAKE IT OR FAKE IT

 

MY FAKE PLANT DIED BECAUSE I DIDN’T PRETEND TO WATER IT – MITCH HEDBERG

 

What’s so funny about this? So is there such a thing as a “green thumb” or not? When somebody has a lot of plants and they are big beautiful and lush, we say that person has a “green thumb.” The implication is that they possess some natural ability or power or mojo to make plants grow. Some other people are the exact opposite; everything they try to grow dies. And it’s not from simple carelessness, like forgetting to water the plants or change the soil. Sometime, no matter how hard these people try, or how conscientious they are, their plants die. It’s the same with pets. Some people are just naturally great with animals, while others cause dogs to snarl and bark and cats to hiss and swat with their paws. I had a boss once and for her birthday I bought her a small cactus plant that was maybe two inches high. Twenty years later, she still had it and it was over six feet tall and had produced many more cactus plants; it was simply amazing how good she was with plants. In the joke we have the other extreme. Here’s a guy who’s so bad with plants that even fake, artificial plants die in his care. But he raises an interesting point. A real plant needs water, so doesn’t it stand to reason that if some piece of plastic or metal is pretending to be a plant, then maybe its owner needs to pretend to take care of it by pretending to give it water? If he forgets or neglects to do that, it could mean the end of the plant, as well as this joke. And THAT’s what’s so funny!

Listen to my audioboo: https://audioboo.fm/boos/1797075-make-it-or-fake-it

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    MY FAKE PLANT DIED BECAUSE I DIDN’T PRETEND TO WATER IT – MITCH HEDBERG What’s so funny about this? So is there such a...
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