Football Funnies:

Ohio State ‘s Urban Meyer on one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”___________________________________________Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.___________________________________________ What does the average Alabama player get on his SAT’s?Drool.___________________________________________ How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a sophomore course.___________________________________________ How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.___________________________________________ Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.” The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?”___________________________________________ A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. ___________________________________________



What do you say to a Michigan State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? “"Will the defendant please rise."___________________________________________ If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?The police officer.___________________________________________ How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.___________________________________________ What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?A full set of teeth.___________________________________________ University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.___________________________________________ How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?They play dead at home and get killed on the road.___________________________________________ Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?He saw “911” on the side and thought it was a Porsche.___________________________________________ How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?Pay him for the pizza.

Football Funnies:

Ohio State ‘s Urban Meyer on one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”
___________________________________________

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________

What does the average Alabama player get on his SAT’s?
Drool.
___________________________________________

How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That’s a sophomore course.
___________________________________________

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?

The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________

Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods.

One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.”

The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?”
___________________________________________

A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.

He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.

Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. ___________________________________________

What do you say to a Michigan State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? “

"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________

If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

The police officer.
___________________________________________

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?

There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________

What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?

A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________

University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________

How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

He saw “911” on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________

How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

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