No argument here
What’s so funny about this? Cow jokes have definitely become more popular in recent years. There are a number of television commercials which use them. The two cows are chatting away just like two women gossiping. Of course the actresses they use have great voices and are very convincing. In the case of this joke, if you’re reading it, you’ll have to provide the voices yourself, mentally. If you’re listening to it, then I apologize for the voices I used. Anyway the interesting topic here is a common one. Daisy tells Dolly she is pregnant. She doesn’t actually use that word. What she says is that she’s been “artificially inseminated.” This is how some women and apparently some cows, get pregnant. In the case of a woman, there are no men involved. The woman goes to a clinic which gets male semen containing sperm from a sperm bank. The sperm cells are then injected into the woman and they do their job of fertilizing an egg in her ovary. With the cows, it’s the same story, only no human males are involved; instead the sperm comes from a bull. So where’s the joke? Well, Dolly has told Daisy she doesn’t believe her. This is the same as calling her a liar. But Daisy insists she’s not lying. Another word for a lie, or falsehood, is “bullshit” or “bull” for short. That’s why when Daisy says it’s not bull, she’s telling a double truth. She’s not lying (no bull) and she got pregnant with no bull too. And THAT’s what’s so funny!
This joke was sent to me by Bob Wiener
Listen to my audioboo: https://audioboo.fm/boos/2419698-holy-cow
“I say, your outfit is perfect. Shall we start the game?”
SUITS YOU TO A T
Origin: Late 17th Century, British English - There are several expression such as this one which use “to a T”, however no one can agree as to the exact meaning of “T” in this context. There isn’t even agreement on the spelling of “t”. Most people think it’s short for “tee” as in golf or curling, or “tea” as in the beverage. But none of the early usages of the phrase refer to either the sport of the beverage. Other theories think it’s the letter T itself. One idea is that it’s like a close fitting T-shirt, but these weren’t around in the 17 century. Another candidate is a T-square, the measuring instrument, but this too doesn’t appear in any early context usages. Finally there is the word “tittle”, which is a tiny written or printed stroke or dot as in the dot on the lower case letter “I”. There are examples of the phrase “to a tittle” going back 100 years earlier. So it’s possible that the “T” in “suits you to a T” was originally “suits you to a tittle.”
Usage: Informal, spoken and, general, American and British English
Idiomatic Meaning: A perfect or exact fit.
Literal Meaning: Depending on the spelling of “t”, it could mean “dresses to tee off in a game of golf, or perfectly dressed to have some tea, or perfectly dressed to receive the letter “T.”
Why is this funny? In the illustration we see two men dressed in what was once considered the perfect attire or clothing to play the game of golf. One man complements the other by saying, “I say, your outfit is perfect. Shall we start the game?” In their hands we see golf clubs so we can assume that is the game they are ready to play. The guy’s clothing fits perfectly, it “suits him to a T”; at the same time he’s suited to play golf which will require a tee, making him also “suited to a tee.”
Sample sentence: I just found a job for which I’m totally qualified; it “suits me to a T.”
OVER MY DEAD BODY
WHAT DO YOU CALL THE BODY OF A DEAD MAGICIAN?
What’s so funny about this? Death is only funny when it’s not you or someone close to you. Otherwise it’s tragic. American culture is obsessed with it. Just look at all the crime TV shows, movies, novels, etc all going on about murders. And then there’s the whole zombie craze. Talk about a national death wish. BTW it was Freud who talked about certain people obsessed with death and murder, having a death wish. I guess it’s so scary that it’s a relief to read, see or hear about someone else dying. At least it’s not you. Anyway, in the joke the dead person is a magician. We’re not concerned with the name of the dead magician, just the proper word to call his dead body. The two most common words for dead bodies are: “corpse” and “cadaver”. The former is a general term while the latter, “cadaver” is more commonly used in a medical context when the dead body is used for research purposes rather than buried in the ground or cremated. But there is a pun here, after all. “Abracadabra” is kind of a magic spell that magicians utter when performing an act of magic. It’s as if the words themselves make the magic happen. For example the magician might place a rabbit into a hat, wave a magic wand over the hat and say “abracadabra” and suddenly a bunch of pigeons might fly out of the hat with no trace of the rabbit. The audience is supposed to think that the words made the magic happen. But in the case of the dead magician we have not abracadabra, but “abracadaver”. Sadly no magic words are going to bring this “stiff” or corpse, back to life. And THAT’s what’s so funny!
This joke was inspired by monthlyduck on reddit.com
Listen to my audioboohttps://audioboo.fm/boos/2413843-over-my-dead-body
UP ON THE ROOF
TWO ANTENNAS MET ON A ROOF, FELL IN LOVE AND GOT MARRIED. THE CEREMONY WASN’T MUCH, BUT THE RECEPTION WAS EXCELLENT.
What’s so funny about this? This image and joke might already be meaningless to the cable and internet generation. But if you’re over 40 or certainly 50, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Also I’m convinced that there are still plenty of television antennas out there, that most of you should get the joke. In fact, that photo was taken in Barcelona in 2007, not that long ago and I’ll bet they are still there. In my own house we’ve been getting TV by way of cable for more than 30 years and we STILL have the TV antenna on our roof. I just never got around to taking it off and I have no intention of doing so. Call it “techno-clutter.” If you’re not certain what I’m talking about here, it’s a television antenna. There used to be two kinds, indoor and outdoor, both designed to do the same thing, pick up electromagnetic waves broadcast by local television stations and conduct the waves into your television set. Before cable and internet streaming, virtually everyone received television signals via antennas. In our joke, we learn about two of these antennas that met on a rooftop and fell in love. This is not so surprising, after all with so many antennas close to each other, there was bound to be an attraction between at least two of them. OK, I know they are not human, but we’re “personifying” them for the joke. Just like people, after they fell in love, they got married. A human wedding usually consists of two parts, the ceremony, where a religious or legal person such as a judge, declares the bride and groom to be officially married; the second part is the reception where everyone gathers to congratulate the married couple, watch the bride feed the groom some wedding cake, watch the bride throw the her flower bouquet into a crowd of unmarried people to determine who will be the next one to marry, and dance their asses off as they get roaring drunk. At least this is the typical American wedding. I know there are many other wedding traditions out there. But most will have some kind of ceremony and some kind of reception for the guests. Well, antennas are all about receptions because that’s what they do, “receive” electromagnetic waves or signals. At this particular wedding all the other antennas WAVED good-bye as the married antenna went off on their honeymoon. And THAT’s what’s so funny!
This joke was sent to me by Bob Wiener